Tuesday, April 29, 2003

The little peanut is now almost ten days old. Her umbilical cord fell off this morning, an event which I had the pleasure of seeing with my own two eyes as I swabbed the stump with rubbing alcohol to keep Andriana's belly-button clean and infection-free. That was your last link to the inside world, I remember thinking to myself. "You're a big girl now," I told her out loud, kissing her tummy, as she rocked back and forth on the changing table, kicking her marathon-runner's legs, flailing her arms, and staring serenely out the window of her room at mesmerizing patterns of light and shadow that babies can't seem to get enough of. The milestone was lost on her, but not on me. Since I'm here at the library by day, and will soon resume my teaching in the evenings, I know that there are a lot of "first moments" - first waking smile, first intelligible word, first tentative steps on her own two feet - that I'm just going to miss by the luck of the draw, as a consequence of being away. Being the first person to see my daughter with her real belly-button made me feel better about conceding those future milestones to other eyes, other ears. Besides, why should I get all the fun? My wife deserves a few firsts of her own.

If you can believe it, I've still been writing, and at a furious pace to boot! "Bambino" just broke the seven thousand word mark, and I'm now resolved to finish it before returning to the novel. I can feel the narrative horizon of this short story beginning to narrow, which means I'm probably closer to the end than I think I am. Another session or two and I think I'll reach that giddy point of no return, where it's a straight line at breakneck writing speed to the end of the tale. Then it's back to work on the big guy, although I'm also kicking around an idea for a children's book, inspired by my time with little Andriana Sophia (it's a really goofy idea, but that's what children's books are all about, right?). Agh! Too many ideas, too little time!

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