6 am: Wake up with pounding headache, throbbing eyeballs. Foolishly attempt to get ready to go to work anyway.
6:05 am: Admit defeat. Call work, email boss and staff to make sure coverage will be adequate. Slug down half a bottle of daughter's Childrens Tylenol and go back to sleep.
12 noon: Wake up again. Eyeballs still hurt. Eat leftover piece of pizza, watch Fantastic Four on HBO.
2 pm: Oh, yay. Madagascar is on now. Head still hurts, though. Drink remainder of Childrens Tylenol and rummage through fridge to find Chinese food from Monday evening.
4 pm: Fall asleep on couch, in the eyeball-soothing dark.
6pm: Who's that knocking on the door? Oh, it's Baby Exile, with Mommy in tow. Eat tortilla soup. Eyeballs a little less hurty now. Watch Madagascar again on DVD, because we like to move it, move it.
8pm: Drive to Walgreens to get some better drugs, Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream, and a Little Mermaid light-up bracelet for my daughter. Wait about thirty minutes to buy Dayquil Sinus from pharmacy counter, because it has pseudoephedrine in it. WTF?
(Bonus irony: overhearing another customer loudly complaining to a friend that his parole officer is busting his balls because he failed another drug test. And I'm the potential criminal here?)
8:30pm: Go home. Take Dayquil. Eat ice cream. Fall asleep.